By Shan Yonamine

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My long anticipated senior year has finally come with full force, quickly overwhelming me with a never-ending list of things to be done. I know that what I should be feeling is a constant buzz of excitement and motivation; however, between a part-time job, AP classes and college applications, sometimes all I feel is burnt out.

I’m sure many of you have heard this feeling of burnout referred to as “senioritis,” however, what fuels my lack of motivation towards school is not merely due to the year I’m graduating.

I, like many of you, have spent three years stacking my schedule with Honors and Advanced Placement classes, pulling all-nighters and entering every academic competition I could. In my underclassman years I was a grade-crazed point junkie who would do anything and everything, all for a high final grade.

Looking back, I can’t help but feel slightly disappointed in myself. I didn’t care about the means in which I got the grade or the award, I only sought the recognition and something else to add to my transcript.

This is the cause of my so-called “senioritis.” It isn’t just that I’m biding my time before graduation, putting in the least possible effort to do so; it’s actually quite the opposite.

What I’m tired of is all the emphasis placed on high school achievements and how they only relate to college. I’m tired of the mindset that if you don’t get into you dream university, all your hard work and time was in vain. I’m tired of having my achievements define me.

I’m not saying that I won’t apply to college, write my essays and apply for scholarships like any other person would but that is no longer my motivation.

What motivates me now is my self-definition. I want to leave MHS not as one who won many awards or who had the most talent but as someone who always tried their hardest without incentive.

And more importantly, I want to enter college as more than what’s written on a piece of paper.